New trends in dating
Let that inform how you move forward with someone who makes you feel benched.
(Uh-huh.)It's like Uncle Ben said: "With great power comes great responsibility." So, it's up to us to figure out when to make the first move and when to wait it out; when to initiate the postdate text convo and when to leave that to our crush; when someone is actually really busy with work and when they're pulling a fade-out.
Say you went on a date or two with someone months or years ago—or maybe you just met through friends and flirted, without ever taking things further—and a few months later, thanks to social media, you found out they were dating someone else. "—all of which are intended to set the groundwork for you to get invested in this person. Well, because the layby is a tactic for those who aren't comfortable enough with themselves to be alone.
Now, they've started to reach out via text or Facebook messenger to start seemingly innocuous conversations—"What's up? This person is still in a relationship—and either it hasn't been going well, or they're getting bored.
But because they need a significant other at all times, they'll keep you on the hook until their current relationship goes south—to cushion the blow of that breakup.
They give you just enough crumbs of conversation or flirtation to keep you interested, without crossing any boundaries they couldn't justify if their current partner found out.Instead of talk about it, the rational thing to do was to go back on Tinder and find some more boys to chat to, just in case the current one fell through.” Another cushioner, Lauren, said that she was still messaging lads while “hooking up” with her steady.“It was always awkward when their names would light up my phone while I was sleeping over [my boyfriend’s] place, but I felt like I needed them as an insurance policy,” she told the Tab.Meanwhile, Rosie believes cushioning lets her channel her neurosis on guys she’s not that interested in, while still keeping her cool with her main flame.