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24-Dec-2017 04:50

I’d browse video game forums, digg, 4chan, and many others — one thing I’d hear from time to time is that Fast forward to my first time actually going to Asia, and this “it’s easy for white guys” mantra was even said by the manager (a Japanese man) of the guest house I was going to be living in. He basically said, Two of my friends were tall, good looking and fit guys — like with abs and everything. After each night we’d all hang out in the “common room” at our guest house and talk about our night, and this was really fun because it was like a mastermind group. I was having fun and did meet a lot of awesome girls.

Sure the whole “it’s easy to meet girls as a white guy” thing was challenged a bit, but so what? Before I make my case, I want to be very clear that I am a white guy who likes Asian girls.

I don’t doubt he loved me in the beginning — but once his family knew, I suspect they made it clear that there was no future in what we had.

Even my own husband was first told by his parents that he could be friends with a foreign girl, but not date her.

On occasion, it even creeps into the news, like this story.

For now, though, I’m just happy to have John, my Chinese husband, in my life.

On the other hand, there are Chinese men — and their families — who would be happy to have a foreign woman in the family. For example, my good friend in Hangzhou, Xiao Yu, once told me that some Chinese men cannot overcome their feeling of inferiority — that being an American girl, a citizen of one of the most powerful countries in the world, made my presence somewhat intimidating.It’s easy to gauge this reality on the website Candle for Love (CFL), devoted to helping US Americans bring their loved ones over from China.CFL is like a tidal wave of American men in love with Chinese women, with only a rare American woman/Chinese husband surfacing to break the monotony. Several years ago, when my husband enrolled in a New Oriental class in Shanghai for GRE prep, the instructor warned all of the Chinese men: “If you’re going to study abroad, prepare for four lonely years.” The underlying message was, don’t expect to fall in love — but be pleasantly surprised if it happens.Average Chinese men tend not to earn big salaries in China, unless they are, for example, bosses, high-powered execs, or an in-demand talent.



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