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Some of it was youth, some of it was my personal background.I don't think you can grow up in difficult circumstances without being a little spiritually and emotionally resilient or tough, but for whatever reason, I was never as much of a thug as I wanted to be. Some of this had to do with being a skinny girl in an environment where black and Latina women were preferred and considered attractive if they had hourglass figures.But on the other hand, there are some great stories of how these relationships have worked out so well.We at BG thought it would be great to stir up the discussion by sharing some stories from the “other side”- non-South Asians talking about their experiences with Brown Girls. What were some of the barriers to overcome in order to be in this relationship?Meghan Markle apparently broke royal protocol in Wales when she signed an autograph for a little girl, Kim Kardashian shut down the conspiracy theory that Kylie Jenner was her surrogate, Meghan Markle now has her very own assistant, Chrissy Teigen showed up to ‘Lip Sync Battle’ looking amazing in a glittery black gown. Plenty of celebrities have significant others who are of a different race or have foreign roots, including some iconic pairs like Iman and David Bowie, Chrissy Teigen and John Legend, and George and Amal Clooney.Since BG’s inception, we have had many, many readers send us comments about the sticky topic of interracial relationships.It’s also an awesome list for the single girls and gents who are contemplating relocation. I’m working with the folks at Interracial to create some sort of info graphic or interactive map because we both just love you guys to pieces. Look at the list and feel free to confirm, deny, vehemently debate, agree, disagree, or add your city, county, state or township along with a reason or two why it’s a good place for us to plant some roots.My first reaction to being asked to answer this question was defensiveness.
I also grew into my facial features, which also helped.
I figure they were doing what I had always done and trying to protect themselves from judging glances. Like any human being, I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't want to be with me.
It was my work as a freelancer that ended up cementing for me the importance of perspective as it relates to rejection. It is hard to feel like men outside of the black community don't view you as attractive, and then, within the African American community, when a black man has similar life experiences to you, he's probably not going to be attracted to you, but to someone who is "easier" to be with.
And I certainly don't want to waste my precious life taking the dating preferences of black men personally.
There are times when it seems that if I were a white woman it might be easier for me to find a black man with my level of education who didn't have hangups about the perceived overriding strength, independence, attitude of today's single women so that we could be together.Because I grew up around black and brown men who expressed their attraction (sometimes inappropriately, but at least with passion and fervor) it was a culture shock for me to first attend schools where I was around more white people than I had ever been around in my life, and then to see that the white women -- many of whom I still consider my sisters in the struggle -- were often preferred dating mates for the black men I encountered.The more education I got - from boarding school to Vassar, from Vassar to living in four different cities as a reporter, then in graduate school -- the more this seemed to be so.I’m working on a master list NEVER BEEN DONE before (not sure why, tho) on an interracial dating blog.