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But, it really only happened because she found out I was seeing other people and flipped out. I should’ve been honest with her.” “This [type of dating] is definitely not for everyone,” says Monica.“It helps to be selective and seek people who are independent enough to not need lots of attention or you get sucked in to a relationship-like situation quickly.”Then there’s the slippery question that looms: I know I can casually date a few people at once, but is it possible to have strong feelings for more than one person at a time?“I had just gotten out of a long-term relationship,” she explains.“I was ready to get back out there, but I definitely wasn't looking for anything ‘real.’ Just people to spend time with, drink cocktails with, and get naked with.”“Rotations allow you to date other people at the same time, giving you perspective on the dating process,” says April Masini, relationship expert and author of the column, Ask April.“I feel like I would stop immediately if I met someone I really liked.” Gretchen, a former multi-dater who is now in a committed, long-term relationship, says: “Having a rotation worked for me, and I had fun.It got kind of difficult with all of the drama, though.”Cassie*, a 30-year-old designer living in Brooklyn, got out of her rotation only after one date asked her to be monogamous with him. “But, he always brought me on amazing experiences, and it’s hard not to fall for someone when each experience is so fun.”For some women, having a rotation with the hopes of ultimately meeting a long-term partner can also be unfulfilling.
“You start to see that in the end you really are still alone.”I recently felt the pang of loneliness as I sat post-coital on the edge of my bed with “The Best” and told him that I’ve realised maybe having sex with someone who wouldn’t come visit me in the hospital (where I was briefly on New Year’s Eve day for some lady problems, fun!I was fresh out of a relationship, breakup wounds still searing.But, rather than stay single, I figured out what the hell I wanted from my next long-term partner, dived straight into dating, and found myself in the middle of a rotation — that is, seeing a multitude of men, all noncommittally.While, it's been fun and I've learned a lot, I'm thinking that maintaining a rotation isn’t the best thing for me right now. Atypical relationship models work for many people — even if they’re temporary.