Dating aplication


20-Apr-2017 12:17

APPLICATION TO DATE MY SON NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is: ______________________________________________________________E. __________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________F. When I meet a boy, the thing I always notice about him first is: ______________________________________________________________G. ______________________ RULES: Initial each Rule after reading. Rule Four: Do not be hurt when my son chooses sports or gaming over time with you. Do not expect expensive gifts, he has been taught to be a savvy shopper.NAME_______________________________________ ALIASES ______________DATE OF BIRTH_____________ HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________IQ__________ GPA______________ SOCIAL SECURITY#________________DRIVERS LICENSE #________________ IQ _________ BLOOD TYPE _____GIRL SCOUT RANK AND BADGES________________________________________HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______Do you have parents? Rule One: If you talk with foul words and dress like a tramp in shirts that are too small and pants low with thong showing, I will treat you like one. Rule Three: You must know how to cook as well as I have taught my son(s) to cook. Rule Six: Don't sleep with my son; the only rubber he should be concerned about is out in the driveway and has Goodyear stamped on it. I may appear to be a pudgy, baggy-eyed, last-season, has-been.From a technology and price perspective, Zoosk is on top of its game, so you definitely won’t regret downloading it._____________________________________________________________________Number of years they have been married ______________________________If less than your age, explain________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ACCESSORIES SECTION: A. Dating apps have transformed the way we online date.We’re no longer limited to finding someone special in front of our desktop at home — we can now do that while standing in line at Starbucks, walking the dog, and even using the bathroom (if that’s your style).) _______________________________________________________________Mother's Signature & Father's Signature _______________________________________________________________Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman Please allow four to six years for processing.

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___Yes ___No#of years they have been married ______If less than your age, explain why ______________________________________If not explain why ___________________________________________________ ACCESSORIES SECTION: A. You are only allowed to wear granny panties super glued to your hind quarters. He has a kind heart and I will not have you make my son cry; if he does, I will make you cry. But on issues relating to my son, I am the queen of his universe. Rule Eight: My son has been raised not to hit a lady, so act like one and I will not have to hit you for him.

A woman's place is in the: ______________________________________D. Rule Five: Do not date my son for his money because I am his bank.

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROC UTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.

_________________________________________________________Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron! ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________REFERENCES SECTION: Church you attend ___________________________________________________How often you attend ________________________________________________When would be the best time to interview your:father? Please answer freely, all answers are confidential. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you? _____________SHORT-ANSWER SECTION: Answer by filling in the blank. ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________In 50 words or less, what does ' ABSTINENCE' mean to you? __________ SHORT-ANSWER SECTION: Answer by filling in the blank.