Dating a passive guy
When punishments weight more heavily, people avoid those same behaviors.
Essentially, many men report that they find modern dating a primarily punishing affair.
With this strategy, men are often able to fulfill their short-term sexual needs—especially within the modern, socially-sanctioned climate of "hook-ups" and causal encounters.
These are the guys who are often labeled "players", "macks", and "pick-up artists".However, these men are often punished by being socially labeled as "jerks", "players", or even "creeps", unfit for socially-defined relationships.Furthermore, their tactics are often designated as "sexist" (Hall & Canterberry, 2011).This week, I will discuss how that double-bind for women may have resulted in a double-bind for men as well.
Today, men are given confusing and contradictory advice.These men may further be regarded as "just friends"—expected to pay for all of the costs of a relationship, without the physical and intimate benefits (see here).In contrast, if men shun social pressures to be "nice" and follow what is biologically attractive, they have a higher likelihood of getting "sex partners".Men often define these women along evolutionary psychology lines—women who are sexually-selective, faithful, physically attractive, and have a pleasant, respectful disposition (for more on these qualities, see Buss, 2003 and my own articles here and here).