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09-Jun-2017 14:19

So, pressure falls on the girl to find work to support the children and her aging parents, who, by the way, she has already disappointed by having a failed marriage, and further upset by now being a single mother and scarring the face of family pride.

Girl then becomes determined to give a better life to her children, and to elevate the face of her family in the village.

I see a girl who has sacrificed her own happiness, and potentially her mental stability, for the benefit of others. And then I see a plethora or foreign men coming to exploit, not help, as they may proclaim, the unfortunate situation of a woman failed by a society that does not provide social welfare or adult education for single mothers, and does not hold men in the slightest bit accountable for their offspring.

No doubt someone will surf on through here and tell me that many bar girls do the job by choice, making that self-serving observation that “she doesn't have to do it if she doesn't want to”.

When you debate this issue and use the word “choice” as your key defence, do you mean the same “choices” (quote on quote) that you would accept for your kids or close friends? If the alternative career paths wouldn't provide an acceptable level of living for our children, then how can we so flippantly use the word “choice” as a justification for what these girls do?

I won’t lie: indeed my eyes danced when I first saw the bright lights, high heels, elegance and youthful beauty of the girls in the go-go bars, and it really didn’t compute that the hostesses in the bars were actually no different to the hookers lurking in the back streets of Soho, London.

What I see in the bar is not a piece of meat to be exploited, but a girl that grew up believing that one day when she finishes school (if possible), she would find a good job and be able to make her parents proud.

I don’t see a girl who grew up aspiring to be a dirty old man’s fantasy, or a girl who aspired to have nightly sex with western men she doesn't find attractive.

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What's strange is that Thailand has an abundance of what one might refer to as average, middle-class single women – university educated and hardworking – yet many foreign men choose to hang around in the bar scene paying for sex while looking for a partner. Not so long ago a friend of mine was in town and he wanted to walk down the infamous bar-laden in Bangkok.It is part of it, but the longer you live here the more insignificant it becomes. But for all the hatred and idiocy ranted on forums and blogs by “barstool experts”, people would do well to remember that these girls are the daughters and sisters of other human beings, and at one time children with dreams and aspirations – just like our own children.I don't want to waste time discussing questions like “Can bar girls ever be faithful”? Don't get me wrong: I have no problem with casual sex. So, the point of this one and only article about bar girls is to go beyond the heavy make-up and high heels and look at the industry from the ground up.Thais, unfortunately, tend to be able to tell working girls / ex-working girls simply by their mannerisms and by asking a few strategic questions. In fact, the word prostitute is frowned upon so severely that Thais seldom label a girl they know to be a prostitute as a prostitute.

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Two of the more preferred terms are “Poo ying gaan koon” (lady working at night) or “Poo ying haa gin” (lady looking/finding (something) to eat).

But as I have covered, the unfair cultural pressures and limited choice of economic progression force the hand into the fire.



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